Dear Viktor
by JennieMac
Summary: Just what was Hermione writing in that novellength letter to Viktor?


Disclaimer: Oh, come ON. Would I really be writing this drivel if I was JK Rowling? No copyright infringement intended.

DEAR VIKTOR

20 December 1995

Ms. Hermione Granger

Gryffindor Common Room,

Hogwarts School

To: Mr. Viktor Krum

Sofija, Bulgaria

Dear Viktor:

Thanks for your letter; it was really good to hear from you! I'm glad that your Quidditch team is doing so much better now. I could tell you were worried about them last summer, but all they needed was a bit of practice. One of my good friends only began playing for our house team this year, and you wouldn't believe how nervous he was before their first game last month! He's really good when he's on form, but the problem is he loses confidence the second he makes a mistake. I'll have to reassure him that, according to you, the professionals go through the same nerves. Maybe you could tell him that story about the first year you were playing for the Sofija regional squad and you fell off your broom pulling out of a dive because you realized you had your game robes on inside out. Or was that for my ears only? Ha ha. Like so many of your stories.

They've practically had to rebuild the entire Gryffindor team since that first game, since Harry and George (Ron's brother) got into a spot of bother with one of the players on the other team after the game ended and…well, let's just say our team was down three players by the time the school's "High Inquisitor" got through with them. It was really too bad, because Harry is quite the best player they've got, he has been ever since he was in first year, and, well, you saw him fly against the Horntail, remember? And George and Fred were excellent Beaters. Now my friend Ginny (Ron's sister) is playing as Seeker, so there are still two Weasleys on the team. It wouldn't be the Gryffindor team otherwise, I suppose.

In answer to your question, yes, I have been busy with schoolwork this year. The teachers seem to think that the best way to prepare us for our exams in June is to set us as much homework as humanly possible beforehand. I have never been so grateful that I am not on a team! If I were I don't know how I would get everything done and still have time to make clothes for the poor little house elves. I know you told me that most of them don't want to be freed, but I can't help thinking that's just because they don't know any other life! I don't understand how people can be so apathetic about the oppression of an entire race of fellow magical creatures.

Anyway, I don't mean to rant at you. When I'm not doing homework I'm busy with other activities; more details on that when I see you. We've all been busy this year. This is the first year I've felt like one of the "older" students in the school. Maybe it's because I'm a prefect. Yes, on top of everything else, I've got to patrol the corridors with Ron once a week (we usually spend half the time arguing and the other half laughing like mad at one of his silly jokes; if the teachers knew, I don't know what they'd say), and last week they had us putting up tinsel and holly and mistletoe in the corridors and the Great Hall. You get to see the strangest things, wandering about this school at night. About three weeks ago we caught two second-years actually kissing behind a tapestry! Ron didn't stop giggling for about two hours after that one. I have to admit, they did look pretty funny clinging together like that; I swear, they're starting earlier now! Although, when I think of some of the things I used to get up to as a second year…No, I wasn't hanging about behind tapestries _kissing_ anyone! I'll tell you my second-year stories some day, but not in a letter.

Anyway, you might be surprised to hear from me so soon (I only got your letter yesterday), but I wanted to get my answer flying before I leave for Christmas break. I don't know our exact plans yet, but I know that my parents and I will be in Switzerland for at least two weeks starting on the 23rd, so I could probably contact you once we get there. I know you talked about flying up to see us while we're there, but it's awfully cold to ride your broom in the Alps, though; we'll have to figure out some other way for you to visit us. Perhaps you could Floo or apparate? Have you ever been skiing before? I'm not very good but I'm sure you'll catch on straight away, as it takes equally good balance to ski and ride a broom, believe it or not.

I've been putting off writing this bit of the letter for a few hours now, but I'm back in the Common Room and feeling sleepy and waiting for Ron to finish his Transfiguration essay, which I'll probably end up rewriting for him in the end; I'll have to go up to bed soon and I just have to say this, because you asked me for some kind of an answer a long time ago, and it's time I gave you one. Even if it's not the one you want.

I've been thinking about what you said in your last letter, and in a few of the letters you wrote me over the summer. I've also been thinking about what happened between us at the Yule Ball, and in the corridor behind the tapestry (yes, it was the same tapestry) that day just before the Hogsmeade weekend, and again right before you left last spring. I've been thinking about it a lot, actually. I can't believe it's been a year since the Ball. So much has happened since then. A lot has changed.

I've changed. I think that's what I'm trying to say. I'm not the same person I was last year. And I know everyone changes, but…it's hard to explain. Even so, I'll give it a try. I know you were disappointed that I didn't come to visit last summer, and that I couldn't tell you why. (Believe me, I'd tell you if I could.) And at the time, I really wanted to go. The fact that you wanted so much to see me…well, I didn't know how to feel, but I did want to find out just _what_ I was feeling.

Knowing what I was feeling never used to be a problem for me. If anything, in the past I was always too adamant about how I felt. I get caught up emotionally in things, "causes" Ron calls them, and I can't think of anything else. And maybe I was expecting everything in my life to feel that way. Love, especially. From everything I'd heard, love was supposed to knock you off your feet and take your breath away and not let you think of anything else, and I never felt that.

Instead, love crept up on me sideways, and I was in it before I realized what was happening. It happened with a quick smile and a swift, sure move and a checkmate, it happened late one night while I watched him tear up a letter from his brother…It was subtle, like the way twilight falls over a crooked, cluttered house in the country: you don't really notice the light fading until it's almost fully gone, until you can't tell your own shadow from the larger darkness.

You know what I mean, don't you? Well, when you told me you loved me in your last letter, I finally figured out what I was feeling for you. It is this: I greatly value you as a friend, and I think you're a wonderful person. I think of our time together with fondness and smiles. But I don't love you.

That sounds so terrible, and I'm afraid that by saying this, I'm going to make it so I'll never see you again, and I don't want that. I had a great time with you when you were here, and I'd love it if we could still be friends. But I don't think I'm ready, or able, to give you the kind of relationship you want.

I know you're going to want to know why. I can't say all I want to in a letter these days, which is why I was hoping that we could meet at least for a day over Christmas. I'll understand if you don't want to, but please think about it. I really would like to see you again. For now, let me just say this: I know what I am feeling for someone here at Hogwarts. I hope you will understand, and I hope I will see you soon.

With love,

Your friend,

Hermione

V:

I have no time to rewrite the letter, or even to explain fully what's happening. I won't be coming to Switzerland. My Ron's dad has had a horrible accident and was near death for most of last night. I have to be with Ron. I'm leaving soon to catch a bus down to-I can't tell you. But I'm going soon, and I'll send this with a school owl, and I'm really sorry I can't say any more I've got to go

H


End file.
